Doubting Thomas?
Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.
bemoans the "dryness," "darkness," "loneliness" and "torture" undergoing. compares the experience to hell and at one point says it has driven to doubt the existence of heaven and even of God. is acutely aware of the discrepancy between inner state and public demeanor. "The smile," , is "a mask" or "a cloak that covers everything." Similarly, wonders whether engaged in verbal deception. "I spoke as if my very heart was in love with God - tender, personal love,". "If you were [there], you would have said, 'What hypocrisy.'"
reveal that for the last nearly half-century of life felt no presence of God whatsoever - , "neither in her heart or in the eucharist."
The Onset
Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love - and now become as the most hated one - the one - You have thrown away as unwanted - unloved. I call, I cling, I want - and there is no One to answer - no One on Whom I can cling - no, No One. - Alone ... Where is my Faith - even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness - My God - how painful is this unknown pain - I have no Faith - I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart - & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them - because of the blasphemy - If there be God - please forgive me - When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven - there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. - I am told God loves me - and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?
The more I want him - the less I am wanted," : "Such deep longing for God - and ... repulsed - empty - no faith - no love - no zeal. - [The saving of] Souls holds no attraction - Heaven means nothing - pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything."
"What do I labour for? If there be no God - there can be no soul - if there is no Soul then Jesus - You also are not true")
bemoaned an inability to pray: "I utter words of Community prayers - and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give - But my prayer of union is not there any longer - I no longer pray." "my darkness" and to Jesus as "the Absent One."
Tell me, Father, why is there so much pain and darkness in my soul?
The church anticipates spiritually fallow periods. Indeed, the Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross in the 16th century coined the term the "dark night" of the soul to describe a characteristic stage in the growth of some spiritual masters.This new
one may be the most extensive such case on record. (The "dark night" of the 18th century mystic St. Paul of the Cross lasted 45 years;
"It may be remembered as just as important a ministry. It would be a ministry to people who had experienced some doubt, some absence of God in their lives. And you know who that is? Everybody. Atheists, doubters, seekers, believers, everyone."
was no more exempt from the realization that religion is a human fabrication than any other person, and that the attempted cure was more and more professions of faith could only have deepened the pit that had dug
There was one respite. prayed for a "proof that God is pleased with the Society." And "then and there, disappeared the long darkness ... that strange suffering" Unfortunately, five weeks later reported being "in the tunnel" once more. And it never lifted again.
" If this became public, "people will think more of me - less of Jesus."
The particularly holy are no less prone than the rest of us to misjudge the workings of history - or, if you will, of God's providence.
A lot of negativity isnt there?? I know what your thinking this is just more of my negative rambling , BUT YOU"D BE WRONG!!!!! These are NOT MY words but those of one Agnes Bojaxhiu, recounted in a new book entitled ................................
Nah that would spoil the surprise if i told you
. Instead go here and see for yourself, you WILL DEFINITELY be surprised, shocked, maybe even in denial or a "doubting Thomas" perhaps,
or more appropriately here a doubting TH????? Its definitely someone you all know and probably all admire. ( so now you know it ain't me .... LOL...!!!!!..)
Got it yet? Let me know if you guessed who's responsible for all those quotes above...
posted by D. Coder | 6:07 PM
3 Comments:
I knew these words were spoken by one of the saints…only I thought they were spoken by one of long ago!!
your ignorance never ceases to amaze me!
you learn half truths and then you get on a soapbox and yell at the world
HERE... COME HERE... I HAVE THE WORDS OF EVERLASTING LIFE!!!
every holy person that ever existed, that is if they were filled with love for God's people... which you are not, has experienced the same thing as Mother Theresa
Volumes have been written on the subject
St. John of the Cross who lived in 16th century Spain, wrote a poem entitled 'The Dark Night of The Soul' which has become the key phrase for what Mother Teresa experienced.
To compare your religious inexperience to that of one of the greatest saints of this century is beyond imbecility!!!
mbecility - is that even a word? i like it tho. not mad here, and sure i know that people have doubts no matter how "holy" they are . except for the pope
of course, if he is the reincarnation of jesus, then after a cpl thousand years he should have ll the
doubts worked out.
anyway I was surprised at the level and extent of her misery over her faith. this was written more to expose my disbelief than anything else and of course i felt that all
others would also be shocked or doubtful of the veracity of such a claim
also i dont think i got on my soapbox at all.
just sending something that would be swept inder the rug by many catholic sites.
i know of St. John of the Cross, he was mentioned in the article.
you said - To compare your religious inexperience to that of one of the greatest saints of this century .....
on the contrary it show that im not so bad in my doubts, no worse than her. and another thought, it seems to me that i can have all the serious doubt in the world as long as i always put on "the act" in public i could be a saint? or at least considered a good religious person? thats crap, but thats what this is indicating.
i have love for gods neglected people, those are the ones i feel bad for, the ones i can relate too. the ones that believe they are "holier than thou," your right i have no use for them.
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